Soccer Moms Suck: Part 2
If you guys noticed yesterday, I was wearing a referee jersey. I am indeed a soccer referee, which is partly why I know all these things about soccer moms. Every game that I ref my hate grows. For today's blog post, I want to bring to light a phrase that I love to hear from parents.
During a 10-year-old recreational soccer game-
*kid falls after the slightest touch and starts complaining*
*I let play go on, no foul*
Mom: "REF!! ARE YOU SERIOUS! KEEP MY KID SAFE! SOMEONE'S GONNA GET HURT OUR HERE!"
Me: "Uh ma'am he got all ball"
Mom: "Are you serious? Open your eyes ref!"
Me: "If your child is hurt feel free to call 911. Otherwise maybe you can ask my dad who you probably assume is a doctor you RACIST B*TCH"
*Mom stops recording on her iPad and goes to quietly sit in her 2004 Honda Odyssey*
First off, concern for your child's safety is a feeling of sadness, not anger. If you actually cared about your kid's "safety" you would not be angry enough to yell at me. Second off, this kind of comment turns soccer into a toxic environment. When the parent asks for a foul, the kid will, and then everybody starts diving and complaining like they're Arjen Robben. Soon enough, there will be no distinction between the soccer field and an Olympic diving pool.
This is why kids grow up soft. Parents let their kids grow up soft because of their stupid comments. I've talked about this already. If I were a soccer dad you can be d*mn sure that my kid ain't no b*tch on the soccer field.
*my kid gets slide tackled from behind, opponent gets none of the ball*
My kid: "Ref, seriously?"
Me: "He's dead serious son. If you don't get up right now and score that hat trick you ain't gettin that kung pao chicken tonight lil boi."
During a 10-year-old recreational soccer game-
*kid falls after the slightest touch and starts complaining*
*I let play go on, no foul*
Mom: "REF!! ARE YOU SERIOUS! KEEP MY KID SAFE! SOMEONE'S GONNA GET HURT OUR HERE!"
Me: "Uh ma'am he got all ball"
Mom: "Are you serious? Open your eyes ref!"
Me: "If your child is hurt feel free to call 911. Otherwise maybe you can ask my dad who you probably assume is a doctor you RACIST B*TCH"
*Mom stops recording on her iPad and goes to quietly sit in her 2004 Honda Odyssey*
First off, concern for your child's safety is a feeling of sadness, not anger. If you actually cared about your kid's "safety" you would not be angry enough to yell at me. Second off, this kind of comment turns soccer into a toxic environment. When the parent asks for a foul, the kid will, and then everybody starts diving and complaining like they're Arjen Robben. Soon enough, there will be no distinction between the soccer field and an Olympic diving pool.
This is why kids grow up soft. Parents let their kids grow up soft because of their stupid comments. I've talked about this already. If I were a soccer dad you can be d*mn sure that my kid ain't no b*tch on the soccer field.
*my kid gets slide tackled from behind, opponent gets none of the ball*
My kid: "Ref, seriously?"
Me: "He's dead serious son. If you don't get up right now and score that hat trick you ain't gettin that kung pao chicken tonight lil boi."
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