The Top 3 Reasons Why Millennials Hate Going to Church
So yeah I was at church this morning, and if you weren't then obviously you are the Martin Shkreli of our society. Just kidding, I'm sure that all of my readers are fantastic individuals regardless. But anyone that I've ever talked to about church besides my parents essentially says the same things. "It's boring." "I don't remember a word they said." If this sounds familiar, here I will explain why young people just don't like church.
1) It's boring and repetitive.
The priest essentially talks to you for an hour and sometimes he even talks to himself while you just sit there awkwardly wondering if your pet goldfish has enough sushi for the day. It's extremely boring, especially when the gospel and readings are read in monotone. Also, every mass follows the same pattern, meaning that you hear the same songs and words everyday. If you go to church every week, I can guarantee that you can play all 6 versions of "Alleluia" on your triangle if you wanted to. It's bad.
2) It's long.
This kind of goes along with the last reason, but it's 1/24th of my day spent daydreaming. In my last post, I talked about how I could cure cancer if I had 16 hours. There are over 200 types of cancer, so therefore if I had one hour back of my day I could cure at least 200 divided by 16 types of cancer so like 12.5 forms of cancer. Gone. Just like that.
3) You can't vape inside.
Millennials love their vape pens. If you want us to come in there and chill out, let us chill out by blowing some dope clouds! Vape Naysh y'all.
What is the solution?? Join a church with a super hype choir like this:
If anyone wants to open a church with Nick Jonas singing please let me know. Otherwise, leave your thoughts below (You guys are awfully quiet) and have a great day!
1) It's boring and repetitive.
The priest essentially talks to you for an hour and sometimes he even talks to himself while you just sit there awkwardly wondering if your pet goldfish has enough sushi for the day. It's extremely boring, especially when the gospel and readings are read in monotone. Also, every mass follows the same pattern, meaning that you hear the same songs and words everyday. If you go to church every week, I can guarantee that you can play all 6 versions of "Alleluia" on your triangle if you wanted to. It's bad.
2) It's long.
This kind of goes along with the last reason, but it's 1/24th of my day spent daydreaming. In my last post, I talked about how I could cure cancer if I had 16 hours. There are over 200 types of cancer, so therefore if I had one hour back of my day I could cure at least 200 divided by 16 types of cancer so like 12.5 forms of cancer. Gone. Just like that.
3) You can't vape inside.
Millennials love their vape pens. If you want us to come in there and chill out, let us chill out by blowing some dope clouds! Vape Naysh y'all.
What is the solution?? Join a church with a super hype choir like this:
If anyone wants to open a church with Nick Jonas singing please let me know. Otherwise, leave your thoughts below (You guys are awfully quiet) and have a great day!
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